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1000 Things to Do Before You Pop Your Clogs

I‘m sitting in the living room with a laptop on my knees, listening to Rachmaninov’s Adagio Sostenuto from the Piano Concerto no. 2. There is a bookcase in front of me (which I assembled myself, incidentally), and on one of the shelves there is this volume: 1001 Movies You Must See Before You Die (general editor – Steven Jay Schneider). I bought it for a friend, but in the end gave a different book as a present.

Back in January 2009, The Guardian initiated a project in the realm of Literature: 1000 Novels You Must Read.

TimeOut published two guides – 1000 Things to Do in London and 1000 Things to Do in Britain.

And of course there is a site which name speaks for itself: 1000 Things to Do Before You Die.

All the above evidently dwell on the following:

Life is too short; the name is a legion to the things/places/people; you cannot possibly do it all; so what MUST you do?

Evidently, the answer is to follow any of the lists. Or to draw up your own, as Listology author Luke tried to do. He was wise enough, though, to start his 1000 things to do before he departs from this profane life with the following:

1. Come up with (at least) 1000 items for this list.

By the look of things, this will be his most challenging of 1000 things.

There is a saying in Russian when they explain in jest why you should do something: “so that you are not painfully ashamed of the wasted years“. By extension, the reason for a “1000 things…” lists is to help us, ordinary mortals, to not waste our time. So, in the ideal world we would probably watch one of 1000 films and read one of 1000 novels in between visiting one of 1000 places in London and one of 1000 places in Britain – which will be a fitting entry for a list of 1000 things to do before we pop the clogs.

The only thought cripples in my mind as I write this: there are 365 days in a year. I figure that we can spend 2.5 years going through one 1000-entry list. So, there are already 5 years to spend in order to see and read all films and books on a list. I’m sure there is a similar list of musicians/bands/performers (if not, it must be), so add another 2.5 years. On top of those 7.5 years, there’ll be another 2.5 doing all the essential “things”: by the look at some lists, these things include making love in all imaginable places.

In total, 10 years of one’s lifetime could be confidently dedicated to doing things off the lists of books/films/music/things. And just as I could forget about it, there are 1000 Places to See, and to do that you may put aside at least another 5 years. All in all, the lists could conveniently help to “plan” your life for some 15 years.

Most of us would still go about doing/watching/reading whatever takes our fancy – only to discover that we can tick off the item from one of the lists, or that we experienced something life-changing that the list didn’t include. But seriously, have you ever tried to plan your life or education ahead? Say, resolving with yourself that in two years’ time you will have read James Joyce’s Ulysses twice: first time to just nail it, second time to actually understand it? Did it work?

And, sad as it is, the author of 1000 Things to Do Before You Die, Dave Freeman, died at his home in 2008: reportedly, he tripped over in the hall of his beach house and banged his head. He managed to complete one half of his list.

Some links to 1000 “things” books:

A bit of history

1. The Boy Mechanic Volume II: 1000 Things for Boys to Do
– this book was published in 1915. Just in case we thought that these “1000 lists” have just been invented.

‘Geotargeted’ “to-dos”

2. Time Out 1000 Things to Do in London (Time Out Guides) – if you are lost for choice in London.

3. Time Out 1000 Things To Do In London for Under 10 (Time Out Guides) – a budget version of the above.

4. Time Out 1000 Things to Do in Britain (Time Out Guides) – if you can see Britain for London.

5. Time Out 1000 Things to Do in New York (Time Out Guides) – if you’re eyeing the Big Apple.

6. 1,000 Places to See in the U.S.A. & Canada Before You Die – if New York is not the limit…

7. 1,000 Places to See Before You Die: A Traveler’s Life List – if Britain, U.S., and Canada are not the limit…

Age-specific

8. Time Out 1000 Things for Kids to Do in the Holidays (Time Out Guides) – if you’re a kid or parent.

9. 1000 Things to Do Before You’re 30 – if you don’t want to be painfully ashamed of the wasted years when you hit 30. Currently out of print.

Things and Actions

10. Time Out 1000 Books to Change Your Life (Time Out Guides) – if you believe in the catharctic power of Literature.

11. 1001 Things To Do If You Dare – as the title suggests…

12. 1001 Incredible Things to Do on the Internet – if you’re tired of Social Media and code-hacking.

Limited availability

13. 1000 Things God Can’s Do: a Positive Message to Build Positive Faith – if your glass is half-full…

Currently unavailable

14. 1000 Romantic Things to Say and Do – “we don’t know when or if this item will be back in stock“.

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