3rd of January is Marcus Tullius Cicero 2117’s birthday anniversary, and one of his aphorisms is partly quoted in the post’s title:
There is no duty more obligatory than the repayment of kindness.
Strangely enough, I discussed this topic the other day with a friend. In friend’s opinion, one should do things when people ask them about it, otherwise we should care for ourselves. The explanation is such that people cannot be grateful, and they will rather find something negative in your kindness or take it for granted than return it.
On a similar note, Cicero also said that
The shifts of Fortune test the reliability of friends.
Films like Secret and many self-help guides instruct us in gratitude, which, again in the famous Roman’s words, “is not only the greatest of virtues but the parent of all others“. But I feel that we have gone too far from Cicero’s times, for feeling grateful sometimes feeds one’s conceit more than any praise. We’re grateful for our families, friends, possessions, work, health, you name it, and even naming all those beautiful things makes one feel exceedingly special. Using humility as a disguise doesn’t really work, and if you ask me, I better prefer open, if proud, acknowledgment, than humble diminution.
I guess it is the inability to find the middle ground between pride and humility that makes the repayment of kindness the most obligatory and not a particularly coveted duty. True kindness consists of not asking for anything in return, and yet it would be improper to not return kindness, for one should be grateful. In other words, it would be improper (wrong, impolite, etc.) to not express gratitude.
Here is a piece of advice the grandfather of the hotelier Olga Polizzi gave her:
Never lend someone money – they’ll always hate you for it.
The morale of the above is probably that people don’t like being obliged, and when you make them obliged, even if they needed it, before long they begin to hate the situation. This is why, perhaps, there is less kindness today – not because we cannot express it, but because we don’t want, or cannot, be grateful.
As I was browsing various sites for research purposes, I came across a Russian site for crochet lovers. And guess what I found? A Bunny Julia! The beautiful toy was crocheted by Svetlana from the Russian city of Tyumen, using acrylic and mohair yarn, and toned with acrylic paint and cosmetics. It was described by visitors as “pensive”, “blue”, “clever”, “moving”, and “with character”. All of which, apart from “blue” I guess, describe me, too. Many thanks to Svetlana!