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A Lingerie Guide

I must be daydreaming… but there is this article about ‘stocking fellas’ appointed by M&S. Their special and delicate duty is to help men to buy lingerie for their wives and girlfriends by offering male customers ‘man to man’ advice.

I know it can be difficult to drag a man into the lingerie section altogether, let alone to make him give his opinion on something. But if a woman cannot do that, how will another man cope?

Better still, it seems like the problem is not just about the choice of a style or fabric. The matter is even more delicate. The article mentions that M&S get ‘the highest volume of returned lingerie items after Christmas, often because they are the wrong size’.

This is a phrase from M&S spokesperson:

“If anyone is embarrassed about talking to women then these guys are on hand to help customers”.
What puzzles me, is how can a man help another man figure out what bra size the latter’s female partner is wearing, if ‘another man’ doesn’t know it himself?

Update. Richard’s comment reminded me of a totally surreal experience of buying slippers at M&S. My shoe size is 36-37 European (depending on a manufacturer’s country), which in England falls between sizes 3 and 4. With this in mind, I tried size 3 slippers, which turned out to be very small. Tried size 4 of the same model, that was OK. Being a woman, I thought I’d try another model. With previous experience in mind, I went for size 4. It was very small. Almost speechless, tried size 5 of the same, and that fitted perfectly. Out of interest, decided to try a pair of black faux leather pumps, size 3. Fitted perfectly.

Morale: either M&S are having trouble making their slippers, or I’ve got a floating shoe size. The latter is impossible, as all my shoes are in the mentioned 36-37 Eur. Sigh.

The Art of a Desktop, or Some Things to Buy (Maybe) for Christmas

When you visit Sir Paul McCartney’s official website, you begin to feel at certain point that good planning may, after all, be a key to success. Of course, exclusions apply, as Sir Paul’s latest album was apparently conceived over a cup of English tea in the backyard, where there was only a fine line between chaos and creation. [You see, I’ve listened to the album ;-)) ]. But as far as his fans are concerned, their free time is very appreciated. When you log on to the site as a member, this lovely desktop pops up right in front of you, containing everything you might need, from various photos and notes to a video of Jenny Wren. This is what it looks like:

I am sure Sir Paul’s website is a huge success among his fans, as are his songs.

Furthermore, I’ve got an email offering to buy Elvis McCartney print. The description reads:

Fantastic 20″x16″ professionally mounted print by Revolver sleeve designer Klaus Voorman. Entitled ‘Elvis McCartney’ this print was done for the ‘Run Devil Run’ album in 1998 and is said to be from the Hamburg Days when Paul dressed in leathers and resembled a young Elvis.
This print also comes with a certificate of authenticity and is perfect for framing.

And this is the print:


And this is the best thing about it – it only costs £79.99, which, to use consumerist slang, is ‘less than £80’!!! And – £80 is less that £100 (My math skills must be strong…).

I guess I am still under the impression of watching North West Tonight, where they were offering to buy the Manchester United Opus for £3.000. I mean, they were contemplating on who may buy the book, which is so thick and heavy that you can barely turn pages. Not to mention the price you have to pay, before you can embrace this page-turner.

Then again, they should’ve looked at some volumes that were produced in the past centuries, The Statutes of the Realm, a collection of the Acts of Parliament that all English scholars have to see at least once in their career. I had to read one of the volumes in the Central Library in Manchester, and by mistake gave it back, instead of keeping it on my number. Next day I had to order it again, and the librarian said to me (rather kindly, I should note):

‘If you’re still not finished with it today, don’t give it back. We have to bring it from downstairs, and it’s too heavy to carry’.

Gosh, I could write a collection of essays on visiting and working in the library. If you’re an editor reading this and would like a regular column, drop me a line.

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